Being in prison and maintaining a relationship is arduous to say the least, but not impossible. Being a prisoner in a committed relationship can put major pressure on both parties, but it doesn’t have to. Its up to us to make sure there are as little added complications as possible. On my end, it’s important to stay away from “GOOFY SHIT” that can have me sidetracked and have a nigga in the box for days/weeks/months on end. There’s no logical or reasonable explanation I can imagine giving my children, wife, mother- family, as to why I had to go to lock-up and couldn’t call or have visits. My suggestion, unless its life & death, steer clear of bs because any other lame excuse for getting in trouble is just that…lame! *DISCLAIMER* – IF ANYBODY AND I MEAN ANYBODY PUTS THEIR HANDS ON YOU, BREAK EM INTO PIECES! PERIOD!* But anything else is infuckingexcusable! Bottom Line!
Many wonder why we choose to pursue relationships while being in prison in the first place. I can’t speak for reasons why other men in my situation choose to be in relationships, but please allow me to be 1000% honest. I’ve dreamt of Hadiyya for years, keeping my distance out of fear that I wasn’t deserving of a woman such as herself because of past transgressions. But Allah ta’ala is most Merciful. He softened her heart allowing her to re-enter my life with a vigor I hadn’t witnessed in all my 33 years of living, and a forgiveness I’m still not sure I deserve! But Alhamdulillah for this 2nd chance to show and prove to her that my love is genuine and my intentions, pure. I needed her in my life, and the deeper we go into this love thing, the more I realize just how much. The relationship she’s cultivated with my sons is absolutely beautiful. She didn’t give them life, but life gave her the gift of them and they love her as much as I do. She’s someone I can share my deepest and darkest secrets and dreams with. I’m honest with her about every aspect of my life, allowing her free will to choose me, CONFIDENTLY. Having someone know your secrets leaves you vulnerable to them, but it also draws you closer in a way nothing else can. Now by no means am I a specialist nor have I perfected love, but I do know what works for me! Sometimes I think us as men(imprisoned or “free”) take for granted and overlook the importance of communication. Especially in this situation, there isn’t much room for constant misunderstandings and anger filled interactions, so open and honest communication is a MUST. And if there’s any uncertainty about who you’re waiting for(or who’s waiting for you), then it may be best to step back and reevaluate your situation altogether. Fortunately for us, it seems as if being outspoken is a trait we both share, and it provides us with a clear target, never having to guess how the other is feeling. Love is no walk in the park, but its also not hard or stressful, no matter how its set up. None of us are perfect, but I definitely wouldn’t wanna be taking this “walk” with anyone but her by my side. Im more eager than ever for this chapter to be over, so that I can repay her. Not only for sticking by my side, but for being an amazing woman, showing me true love, and trusting me with her heart.
-IM FULL OF CONFIDENCE IN WHAT WE HAVE, WE COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER-
*ABDUR RA’UF QAYEM*