A little over a month away from my 1 year anniversary, and I’ve been recalling everything that’s lead me to this day. The meeting in 2002, the teenage love, the fallout, initial email, the 1st visit, the friendship, the reemmergence of feelings, the openness, the shame, the fear and now, the blatant disregard for any feelings about my relationship that aren’t supportive in nature🤷🏾♀️. When marriage first became a real topic for us, I lived on Google.
“Marrying an inmate”…. “Pros and cons of marrying an inmate ” …. “Prison marriage process” …. “life insurance for inmates”…. you name it, I googled it lol. Hell I searched for my husband on NJDOC almost everyday, even though I already knew what it said. I read his charges, I read his vitals, I looked at his max out date almost daily, as if it was subject to change lol. And of course everything (well 85%) I came across on the internet about marrying a prisoner was negative; horror stories.
Then one search lead me to this article. Written by a former inmate, about his chance correspondence with a former classmate that resulted in their marriage at the prison where he was serving out his sentence. It made me smile. Of course only the bad news about prsion relationships make “headlines”, so it was nice to read something positive.
This article not only showed me a different narrative, but it also made the reality of a successful relationship (of this type) a possibility for me. I knew there’d be challenges, but I trusted myself and my man to be who we promised each other we’d be. It gave an honest overview of all aspects, not JUST the good and definitely not JUST the bad.
I’m still not an advocate for this life(not yet anyway). But I think it’s important to show people all sides of any situation so they can decide what’s best for their lives. This read wasn’t the determining factor, but it shined a light on a perspective that was otherwise left out.
Click the link to read it. For your information, for your encouragement or for your curiosity purposes.