Exactly one year ago today, in a small prison chapel, I followed through with my very unpopular decision to marry my incarcerated (now husband). Truth be told, from the moment the tone of our conversations switched to marriage, and before he actually asked me to be his wife, my decision was made. When I tell yall my husband different, PLEASE BELIEVE ME, because Miss “ain’t nobody got time for niggas in jail” would not lie to you.
Despite my husband not being home, this past year has been pretty amazing. I’ve faced a few challenges on the homefront and through each and every one, my husband has been there. Wiping tears, encouraging, motivating, daring me to take chances on myself, and making sure I know that no matter what, he’s got my back. This year, he’s been exactly who he promised to be and so much more.
We’re still in amazement. He still looks at my ring, then looks at his, then shakes his head and smiles… “I’m really somebody’s husband”. I’m not sure if its being married, or being married to ME that still has him stumped, but because I’m the kind of person I am, I’ll go with the latterš.
The craziest thing about it to me is, I thought our wedding day was the pinnacle of love and smittenness. But today, 365 days later I love that man on a whole new level. A whole untouched part of my heart, mind, soul, and patience reserves that I NEVER knew existed, has been tapped into. And I’m pretty sure that in another 365 days, this level that I’m speaking about right now will seem like chump change. And I can’t wait!
Happy Anniversary to Usšā¤š
September 3, 2018 at 12:59 pm
I know Iām super late but congratulations!! So what did u Guyz do for each other on the Anniversary day being as tho it was yall 1st one? What made u get married in a jail y not wait til he got home? I ALWAYS wnted to ask but didnāt wnt to be to imposing i guess…Well an update on me Iām still w my man and taking ur advice to live fr me and NOT others…My mom is still on the fence Iām letting her come around on her own terms I feel like a part of her wnts to b involved but she doesnāt wnt me to knw lol Whn sheās ready Iām ready!! How has ur husband/moms relationship been? Have ur mom and his mom met yet? Wat was tht like? Iāve met my mans moms and she is everything smao sometimes I feel incomplete bcuz my mom isnāt so excepting š Do u still hve thoughts that this relationship might not work once he released? As much as me and my man tlk,laugh I still thnk like ok this might nt go as plan Whn he comes home thn I say to myself u cnt thnk like tht but Iām a realist…Am I wrong fr thinkn like this? I knw u probably like y is this girl askn me ?ās like this Iām sorry if Iām bein intrusive but I hve no one to tlk to no one around me understands y Iām even in this relationship so I hold all my thoughts to myself and figure it out as I go along….How are the boys? Are the boys angry w there dad fr being away? Are u kool w there motherās? I see a lot of situations at my jail where the bmās and the ānew girlā donāt see eye to eye….U seem down to earth tho so I cnt imagine ur situation bein the same….Do u plan to hve kids Whn he comes hme since he already has 2? Donāt wanna hold u anymore Iāll b waiting patiently fr ur response š
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September 4, 2018 at 1:04 am
Hey hey, so nice to hear from you. Thank you for the Anniversary love…it was a nice day. He conspired w somebody (i think it was my mom) to have an edible arrangement deliveres to the house, and i went to visit him. It was nice. I don’t mind the questions at all, im really an open book so feel free to ask away. I don’t really hv a long drawn out reason for not waiting (he did ask if i preferred to wait), i just didn’t want to. Happy to hear ur takin it time and doin things on ur terms and yeah just give momma time to come around on her own, it’ll be a lot smoother than trying to force her into anything. My husband and mom hv been ok, she set up an email account so they hv their own lil convos(that i DO NOT ask about lol) Our moms haven’t met, hopefully soon tho, but my relationship w his mom is everything, but she and i were close back whn husband and i were teenagers so we’re just like old times. I think its ok to wonder about his sincerity, i mean in any relationship ur takin a chance that the person promising u forever is bein up front and this is no different but with so many ppl screamin “he lying” its def easier for ur mind to wander into that weird headspace. But i think u should share those thoughts and feelings w him, so he knows he has to do what it takes to help ease ur mind about things. The boys are great, being teenagers so they’re also crazy lol, he’s had the conversation w them about him bein away and they understand that its not their fault, nor are they upset w him. Their moms are ok, the more mature one and i hv a great relationship ….beyond that my focus is my family. Im bk n forth on kids at this point for many reasons not even related to this situation but whatever’s meant to be will be…u know I’ll keep yall posted lol. And def feel free to reach out if u need to talk. If ur up to it, check out the DUWOPz group on fb. Its really supportive and everyone is in the same situation so u don’t have to worry about be judged(too harshly lol).
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September 5, 2018 at 6:07 pm
Ty fr responding u always give me a sense of relief and u let me knw the things I feel are normal….I will def chk the page out…. How much longer is ur wait? I hve 2 1/2 left ughhh….Mayb u and the bm cn hve a sit down being as tho u hve to deal w each other now in some way shape or form it might b a miscommunication somewhere(which is usually the case)unless ur just nt up to it…I know itās NOT my business but I just hate to see black women feud….Again ty fr clearing up some of my doubts…Looking forward to more reads!š
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September 6, 2018 at 12:52 am
Np at all. We’re in the single digits so we hv a lil under 10 left. Im pretty much over the kumbaya thing, as long as me the boys and their dad can communicate i really dont even care about who has an issue w it. Luckily they’re both old enough to interact w me on their own so im fine w how things are. But yeah, im mullin over some more topics to write about, hopefully soon I’ll have another post upšš
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