Transparency moment:

Every once in a rare ass while, I wonder what/how my life would be if I never ended my last relationship. We had a few plans that we were working towards, and initially I felt kinda guilty for walkin away so abruptly, even though it was best for me. My family loved him, my brother, my nieces, my cousins, aunts…. everybody. And after we split I felt like I lost my family too, like I let them down. It took me a little while to get myself in line w the concept that my happiness had to come before theirs, and I shouldn’t sacrifice my peace of mind, emotions, focus…. happiness, to please others. Even if it was a notion that I had created myself.

Anyway, almost ALWAYS immediately after hvn those “what if” thoughts, I’m reminded that I did the right thing. I don’t have to deal w ANY of the confusion, insecurity, poor communication, or f*ckboy antics and that alone is a sigh of relief. My husband is far from perfect but his love for me AND his actions that back it up most definitely are. I want everybody to have a love like mine(minus the prison part of course)….. carefree, easy, reciprocated …. just a breath of fresh air. Loving him and being loved by him is SO satisfying. The way he pulls me in for a hug whn he sees me, how safe and secure my body/hands feel wrapped in his, the way he smiles when I catch him staring at me like he’s never seen me before, laughing w him, growing w him… I can’t get enough. If it all fell apart today, I can honestly say I’ve gained so much from our relationship, from trusting him with my heart/flaws/secrets. BUT SINCE WE ALL KNOW THAT AIN’T ABOUT TO HAPPEN (lol)…imma just continue w this love fest and thankin my God for such a beautiful blessing.

I know it probably still makes some ppl cringe to see us happy because they don’t understand how or why, but we not about to stop and clarify anything. Just gon keep right on lovin each and not givin a single fuck🤷🏾‍♀️.

Happy Wednesday😘.

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