I’m excited seeing everyone sharing their trials & triumphs, and goals for 2019 & 2020. I’ve been quietly taking my own self inventory and remembering how much these last 10 years have molded me, sometimes gently, sometimes with brute force. I smile at the memories, especially the times I thought I’d never make it through a situation. Tuh!
These last 10 years have definitely changed my genetic code, I’msure of it lol. Things and people I once believed and/or believed in, I see so differently now. And I’m sure there are more tests and life experiences to come, but 2010-2019 has taught me to take each moment as it comes, not get too emotional too soon and most importantly to live life on my terms.
In the last ten years I’ve (been):
- A career woman
- An unemployed woman(fired twice)
- Stoic and a ball of emotions
- Earned another college degree AND a cosmetology license
- A girlfriend
- A wife and step mom
- Lied to, lied on and a liar
- Uncertain… too certain lol
- Started my own business and helped grow other people’s business
- Started a blog to document my journey as a prisoner’s wife
- Given more than I should and accepted way less than I deserve
- Spoke up about childhood traumas
- Forgiven, forgotten and ejected people from my life
- Questioned my faith
- Challenged authority
- Learned to be patient
- Realized that the storms don’t always come to destroy
- Down to my last, and had enough to pass around
- Encouraged people when my own situation bore no fruit
- Smiled/laughed while internally ravaged
- Overly giving and understandably selfish(I enjoy both)
- Worried about what people might say/think and also proudly proclaimed “fuck em”🤷🏾♀️
…..I’ve been a teacher, but more importantly, I’ve been a student. Learning lessons that no classroom could ever teach. I’m without a doubt, a better version of myself than I was 10 years ago, and aging beautifully in so many ways.
Finding my 1st grey hair last week was my personal confirmation that I’d really grown, learned and become wiser as a result. Of course I know there’s more growing and learning to come within the next 10 years and beyond (and I welcome it). But finding the balance in all of life’s many areas is challenging at any age, especially when we want to hold on so tightly to what we believe (or what we’re taught to believe) and what’s comfortable for us. My goal is just to enjoy the ride.
I can honestly say that in 2020, I’m okay with exploring outside of my comfort zone, even if sometimes I only wander just beyond its borders❤