You ever smile to yourself thinking about your significant other? Something they did or said that made you think “damn i love this fool” while laughing, blushing or doing that “🤦🏾♀️” thing, but still lowkey smiling? No? Just me? Ok😏
I’ll be honest. This is the longest relationship I’ve been in. I guess, I wasn’t really compelled enough to put in the amount of work that’s actually needed to go the distance in the past, but Mr Fuquan definitely made history around these parts. Anyway, I let him know, and of course he turned into the asshole he is “oh, so u REALLY sweatin a nigga huh?” #boygotohell |he ain’t wrong tho🥰🤷🏾♀️
I didn’t share it with him at the time, but as our 4th year together made its way closer and closer, I got a little nervous. Nothing crazy, but a few things def ran across my mind. “Will I get sick of him by default? Is 4 my relationship bad luck number? Is this the part where he does some fuck shit and I won’t be able to unhate him afterwards?” And yes, as loud and proud as he’s been about his dedication to me…to us, my past still had me a lil shook. But those thoughts came and went long before I had time to make a mountain out of a molehill.
As we make our way, day by day through what’s left of this bid, I realize more and more that although our current situation is far from ideal, our dedication to each other most certainly is. Having our real-time interactions be over the phone 100% of the time these days has also forced us to listen more closely to each other. No, I can’t look in his face but I can tell you EXACTLY what his expression is within the first few seconds of hitting that good ol #5. It’s a wild ass 7th sense, but I can hear it all; when he needs reassurance, encouragement, a hearty cackle (my specialty) or just to hear me breathe, because that’s a thing too. And the best part? He can read me the exact same way. Reciprocity…. we put that shit on everything.
I won’t ramble too much(more🤪), I’m just coming up for some “therapeutic writing” and my thoughts are finally not running into each other. I say all that to say I am so in love with that man. I love his face. His smile. His voice, and the way he laughs at my funnies deep from his diaphragm. I love his joy, and I love being a source of it for him. Hell, I love that he ain’t one of them raggedy niggas that got a problem with Ciara and Russell Wilson’s bonus son being loved on by the man who chose them both. TF!….i digress, but yeah we talked about yall filthy asses, bad too🤣.
ANYway, having this exclusive VIP seat to his evolution is mind-blowing. Like, have you ever watched a mf EVOLVE THROUGH SOME SHIT? The highs/lows, the excitement of finally overcoming a fear, or just the pride he exudes from consistently working through his shit to be better; and not only for himself but for me too? And babygirl? Smh 😻 quivering just thinking about it. #makeyapussythrobdontit
And just think of the bravery it takes for us to face OURSELVES when we’re not 100%. This man, requested my presence on that journey with him to sit front row; I even hold the mirror sometimes🤷🏾♀️. I love that he’s not ashamed to be flawed in my presence; and if I was a betting woman, I think he’d agree my love feels a lot like safety. It takes nothing from my life to shine my love and light on him, and I’m proud to do it. Especially in this dark time for him when so many are nowhere to be found. Shh! 🤫 if you listen close enough, you can hear our front door slamming in niggas face right tf now🤣😂 #AhtAhtwhoyouherefor #hello911thereisatrespasseronmylawn
To make a long story even longer, despite what anybody feels about him, myself, or our marriage(good or bad) we in this thang til the wheels fall off, teeth fall out and we riding hand in hand in our hoverounds sittin on 12s. This thing, this love, this life…were building it brick by heavy ass brick and it WILL be worth the wait for both parties involved👫🏾 #buhleedat