This was our 2nd visit. After our initial visit was crashed unexpectedly, we made sure(well HE made sure) we’d have this one all to ourselves. I guess I can admit now that I was already kinda soft on him the minute he walked into the visit hall for our 1st visit😍🤤, but I kept a cool head about it; even after he snuck in a kiss on my neck as we said our goodbyes.
We’d already been sending emails and letters for weeks by this time, and not soon after this pic all “hell” broke loose🤣. We were knee deep in “I love yous” and “when can I see you agains?” I couldn’t stop that runaway train if I tried. And I did, a lil bit…just a smidgen🤷🏾♀️.
About a week later, knowing full well the amount of time he had left, I was telling him that I’d stick by his side. I spent so much time thinking about my decision; the sacrifice, the judgement, the harsh criticisms I’d (possibly) face from family, friends and raggedy ass strangers who feel their input somehow matters; but it didn’t…none of it mattered.
I spent lots of time confirming with, and reminding myself that this was not amateur night. This was a grown ass, consequence having ass, sacrifice makin ass, big BIG girl panties wearin ass decison. In my mind I needed to be sure, not only for myself but for him as well. I already know how people have failed him w empty promises and lopsided loyalty, and I didn’t want to be another nobody on that list. And so, with not one shred of doubt in my mind or heart, I let those words leave my lips.
And yes, he’s probably jumped on every last nerve I have at some point between then and now(and I his, because you know? Equality🤣) but I have yet to regret choosing him. I still believe in his intentions for me, and he still spends his days looking for new ways to win my heart and make me smile. I’m sure no one will ever understand fully how we ended up here or how we “make it work”, but that was never the goal so for most it’ll just have to remain a mystery.
What I do know is our love has inspired people. It’s had grown men share their adoration because they’ve never seen their mother loved by a man “the way you love your wife”, they’ve never felt the kind of love from their father that my husband shares w the boys. Its weird to hear because we don’t see ourselves as doing anything particularly special; just making the best of this time until its our turn. But if our little love light shines some truth or inspiration on anybody else, I guess we can call it a win/win.💋